The “spartan incident” revisited… never again

April 14, 2008 is a date in Senators history that will live in infamy.

The Sens finished the 2007-08 season with 94 points going 43-31-8, good for 7th in the Eastern Conference.   But the team backed into the playoffs going 11-15-4 in February, March and April.

But that was the regular season … things would get better in the playoffs, right?  Wrong.  The Sens marched into Pittsburgh, dropped both games, and came back to Ottawa wounded and in danger of suffering a death blow.  And then this happened …

Here are some blog articles posted the night of incident:

In July 2011 Mike Commodore (@commie22) addressed the Spartan fiasco and apoligized to Sens fans for not taking actions:

Ladies and gents, I give you the most embarrassing moment of my career. Even more embarrassing then money pic.

I would just like to apologize to the city of Ottawa, Sens fans, hockey fans, planet earth, for not clotheslining that guy in the hallway

I can assure Mike that it was also the most embarrassing moment in Sens history from a fan’s perspective.

Rumours spread after the fact that the whole thing was Melnyk’s idea which stemmed from his infatuation with the movie “300”.

So, with the Sens seemingly headed back to the playoffs this year, the question is:

WHAT THE HELL HAS MELNYK BEEN WATCHING?

Here’s a few scary options…

 

1.  The Smurfs

Pro:   The smurfs mostly consist of men and lots of the characters‘ personalities are analogous to the Sens.  Papa Smurf (Alfie), Jokey Smurf (Spezza), Greedy Smurf (Michalek), Hefty Smurf (Cowen), Grouchy Smurf (Kuba), Clumsy Smurf (Foligno), Handy Smurf (Phillips), Crazy Smurf (Neil)….

Con:   They’re blue.  We don’t do blue in Ottawa, you can drive down the 401 if you’re so inclined.

 

2. Twilight

 

Pro:  Kuba’s basically a vampire already.

Con:  It’s fucking Twilight.

 

3.  Transformers 

Pro:   Phillips is already called the “Big Rig”.

Con:  It would be an outward admission that the team lacks depth.

 

4.  Friends With Benefits

 

Pro:  None, other than that I got to use the above Foligno photo.

Con:  It makes no sense.

 

5.  MIB3

Technically not out yet… but Melnyk may have recently seen MIB I & II and is really excited about the new chapter.

 

Pro:  It would be awesome to go back in time to get a 29 year old Alfie and watch him and Spezza play together in their primes!

Con:  Unknown effects of messing with the space-time continuum.

 

And those are just the tip of the ice berg!

Here’s hoping the Sens simply stick with some god damn smoke, bring back the lasers, and if a movie tie-in is requiring then use the DJ Tiesto remix from Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and call it a night.

5 comments
thealantrainer
thealantrainer

I remember watching the game by myself and feeling embarrassed.  My face went red.

Da lil Guy
Da lil Guy

Okay, that was almost worth forcing me to relive that horrible, horrible time.

shaman434
shaman434

Oh man, that's some good shit.  I hope Melnyk isn't hung up on the valentines movies though... every one of them is a pile of shit every year that they churn out because they know women will drag the men folk.